Quarantine day …. I’m not really sure. The past month has been a little bit of blur. And amidst the craziness, I’ve had a lot to be grateful for. Number one is probably the horses waiting for me to feed them every morning. That’s the good (and sometimes bad) thing about working in the horse industry. There is always work to be done. Take away the travel and the horse shows, however, and I feel like I’ve got at least a little bit more time on my hands to leave unscheduled. As a do-er, it is really tempting for me to fill every second of every day with activities. I justify the pace I set for myself by keeping up daily habits of meditation, sleep, and journaling but often times in the mess of it all these “rest and recovery” strategies become “just another box to check”. It’s been interesting to see where chunks of obligation-free time take me. Today, I ended up cracking open an old journal of mine and strolling down memory lane. And I found an entry I thought was worth a share.
A compassionate letter to myself.
You are not perfect -> and that’s okay. I know you wish you were and making a mistake is never fun when it happens but if you look back it’s not the good but the bad that has caused you to grow. You see the world through your own looking glass, which is made by your experiences, your culture, and the world you grew up in and people are going to judge you and try to change you because they think they see things better. And change is good- it is quite literally the only thing that you can count on absolutely. Confusion and insecurities will cause you to do things that you are not proud of but you cannot hate yourself for them. Look for the lesson. There is meaning in everything and it all means nothing all at the same time. You are not what anyone thinks you are, you are who you choose to be. And you can choose love. No matter how much horrible stuff happens. It’s not happening to you, the world is not out to get you. You have a choice to react the way you want and create the life you want to have. But don’t force it. Outside strain and pressure will help keep you on the right path, you just have to keep your eyes open and keep reading the signs. There is no light at the end of the tunnel, this is your life, wake up every day and choose to make the most of it. Let love fill you up and love everyone around you. That is why you are here. Stick to your instincts.
We’ve talked a lot on the podcast about the power of a handwritten letter, I certainly love writing and receiving them… but we’ve never talked about writing a letter to yourself. The idea might make you cringe a little bit (as it did to me when I was told to do it in 2017) but when I found this letter today I couldn’t help but smile. They say that the relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship in your life… and… as it turns out it’s just like all of the other relationships … HARD. But if you think about it, most of the best things in life come out of hard work. So I encourage you to sit down and write your own compassionate letter to yourself. If it doesn’t make you smile right now, maybe it will when you read it three years later.